Miss Independent

You all have seen me go through my ups and downs, cleans and dirtys if you will. I'm sure you're thinking this will be another one of those things, and I know I've said it before, but I am changing. I was on the right track a month and a half ago, then it all went downhill when in all honesty I thought it was going uphill, because it was fun. I was more independent than I've ever been, I had learned not to depend on other for my own happiness because in the end I'd get hurt. Low and behold, I met a boy, Chad. We became good friends, partying, and having fun. At one point we fell for each other, knowing we were total opposites. Our only similarity being our independence. That must have been what brought us together because I now see nothing in this boy. We dated for a month, then it all came crashing down a few days ago. Someone told him I cheated on him, I didn't, so I told him I didn't. We broke up and he still doesn't believe me. I know I didn't, I have nothing to prove to him so I gave up arguing. Which for him I guess meant I did cheat. I don't believe in proving things I know are true to others, unless they are willing to try to believe. Now, four days later I'm sitting here telling him it's ok to show your feelings instead of blocking things out and letting them build up until you become psychotic. I have seen two of my cousins commit suicide from the very same thing, I may not be too happy with Chad at the moment, but I do love him and would never wish death upon him. I keep losing my train of thought. Now, after all this, after all the hurt I never want to feel again, I'm going back to being The Miss Independent everyone grew to like and love. I was happy, people around me sensed it and were happy also. I woke up this morning thinking like my old independent self, and i'm happy today. Right this second, I'm finally getting through to Chad and it's making me even more happy. I AM AN INDEPENDENT PERSON WHO DEPENDS ON NO ONE. And I'm proud of it.

=]

JoyToy52307@yahoo.com

-Sarah Joy