Introducing Myself...

Well hello. This is my first ever post on here. So I woke up really early today to help my sister move. So, just on case you don't know me, I will tell you some of the important things that have happened in my past, I talk about my past alot, because I have come a long wayz from last year. I am 14 years old. I live in Oklahoma, and I absolutely hate it. I would much rather be in an ocean side house in California. I am currently not single, I am going out with the most amazing guy ever. I just came out of being gothic, I still have the side of me that loves heavy metal, and death metal, and thats not ever going to change. I just don't show it in how I dress anymore. I can not stand preps. Just cause you got money dont mean you gotta go around flaunting it to everyone. But I have gotten to understand people more lately. I live in moore, small city. I go to a school that I call a prep academy, it's actually just a public junior high. But because it is in the "richer" part of town, most of the stuck-up preppy people go there. I have gotten used to all the stuck up preppy people, this will be my third year going there, I will be a freshman. I have gotten to know somw of the preps, and believe it or not became friends with a few of them. I realized most of the time they dont even realize they are trying to show off there money. That is just how they were raised in their household. Me, on the other hand, I was born and raised in the country. So, yep I am pretty much a country girl, I dont mind getting down and dirty if i need to. I used to go swiming in a mud pit everyday!lol.
I lived with my parents in a small house in the counrty until I was in second grade, so I was about 7 years old. Then my parents got divorced. At the time it didn't bother me. And it never has bothered me until last year. Last year I would go over to my friends' houses and see their family's together. It started bothering me, because I didn't have that. I had four parents. I didn't realize I was lucky to have four parents! I was just being stupid.
I started having problems of my own when I entered 7th grade. I didn't want to admit them to anyone, because I was scared that I would get in trouble, or that God wouldn't forgive me. Thats when I went goth. I started wearing all black, dying my hair funky colors, doing alot of stuff I knew I shouldn't be doing. And God told me I shouldn't be doing them. But the honest to God truth was I was scared of God. I didn't know how to ask for forgiveness. I mean I have been going to church since i was concieved. My father was like the preacher for my church, half of the time. But I was little and didn't pay attention. Then when my parents got divorced I stopped going to churh alltogether.
Then, my parents both got remarried to the step-parents I have today. I have a great stap-daddy that loves me, and I love him also. I have a step-mother. Who I don't seem to get along with, and honestly have no intention to. I have my real father. and I have my mommy. I live with my mom during the week and I live with my dad on some weekends. try to avoid going up there. I don't really LIKE my step-mom. Yes I love her but, i dont usually like her. I love my step daddy like crazy. He was an Angel sent to my family. When my mom started dating him I was in 3rd grade, and my mom was going to school and doing some work, and Les, my step dad, was helping us out. When I would get home from school, my sister was there and she would stay and take care of me. Finally, after what seemed like years, my mommy and step daddy got married. Me and my mom moved out of our little one bedroom apartment and in with my step-daddy, into a nice little 3 bedroom house. My sister stayed at the apartment and her husband moved in with her.
So, when I was in 5th grade, I started cutting myself. I cut my wrists. I cut my thighs, and carved things in them. The summer after 6th grade, I went to Falls Creek with my church, Council Road Babtist. I got saved that summer, and made a ton of new friends. So, I have been going to Falls Creek with my church every summer since then. At the beginning of this year, God told me that I had to get help, to stop the cutting. I broke down and spilled everything to my step-brother Micah. He is the youth minister over the middle school at my church. Of course he talked to me about it, read me some scriptures out of the bible. Then he told my Dad, I hated him for a while for that one. But I knew he was just trying to help me out. And he did just what his goal was. I have been almost compltely cut free for about 3 months now. I have got plenty of scars to show everything I have been through. It got so bad that to cover up the cuts, I would wear hoodies, even through the summer. Now trust me I have done plenty of things I know I shouldn't have. I have done my fair share of things that I know I shouldn't have done.
Of course I went to Falls Creek again this summer. It was crazy. Plenty of good times and bad times. I did my fair share of crying. And yes all my friends were there to help me out. Every one was there for me. I have this one person that I will tell anyone. He is a bit older than me. But he is the only person I will tell anything. And he was at camp. like usual. And my sponser wouldn't let me talk to him. she said I was only allowed to talk to other girls about my problems. I don't do well with other girls. I wouln't say anything I want to if I had to talk to a girl. I would sit and stare at her and make faces at her. And the whole thing about me only talking to guys about things, I promise it's not some kind of sexual or turn on thing. Guys are just more laid back and chilled out than girls. With girls there is just way to much drama. And since I was a country girl, I am to this day the biggest tomboy you will ever meet. At first look or the first time you talk to me, I come on pretty stuck up and snobby, but I am just a lil shy at first.
So, since I have overcome a few obstacles in my life, I absolutely LOVE to talk with other people about their problems, and help them overcome their problems. Anytime anyone needs help, with anything, or even if they don't need help, they just need to let it all out feel free to email me at starless_n_cold@hotmail.com I can try to help you out as good as I can.
And as for camp this summer, I got a brand new out look on life. I don't think of life as one giant problem anymore. I think of it as a smalll obstacle, preparing us for what is to come.
Everytime I do a post I pull out one of my fav quotes outta the Bible and post it to, so get used to it! lol. jk.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

Well email me or leave me comments. I know this one is long most of them won't be this long, but I have a big history for only being 14.

All my love
~!*!~Sarah~!*!~